Would you trade yesterday? If you could give up the day before, and reach the future. One where you have everything you could ever want, would you?
Its a thought I had. And. I decided to think it through typed out.
Perhaps I thought of this because yesterday was a pretty good day for me. Got to talk to several friends. And the conversations with all of them were simply awesome. Would I be willing to have never had those times, made those memories, formed those friendships? What am I, what are WE, willing to do to move forward in this life?
Imagine with me, if you would, what it would be like. Whatever it is you dream of doing, you’re successful with it. Best selling author. Movie director. Actor. Singer. Whatever it is. You’re it. Top of the game. Voila. But there’s just one catch. All those friends of ours. They don’t exist. Well, they do. They’re just not OUR friends. We probably never met them. Would you be okay with that? Perhaps I have a morbid mind for even thinking about this. But there are times when we need to search ourselves. Spend time in the Bible, with God, and really seek and find out just what kind of people we are.
Would we sacrifice others for our own gain? Would we cut around friends to get that deal that will set us up for our dream? What is a friend worth? What is family worth?
The past months have been a time of self-searching for me. And its been hard. And painful. But God is good, and I am starting to see the answers. I made some pretty bad mistakes last year, a few of which I am not sure can ever be remedied. For quite awhile, all I could see in myself was a complete and utter failure of a person. As a friend. As a brother. As a son. And so I had to ask myself, what do those people mean to me?
I had an answer at the very moment I asked. But I didn’t want to rush into anything. That’s how I have made so many bad choices. Hurt people. I prayed about it. Meditated on scripture. For a long time. And after quite some time I did have an answer. I COULD give up those memories, those people. Anyone COULD. But here’s the deal. God gave me my family. Those precious friends. And if given the choice to change my life through some magical thing, giving up yesterday and moving on to a bright future… I wouldn’t.
I heard a quote about teenagers and people in their early 20s. “These are the years that define you. This is the time you become who you will always be.”
Its a neat enough quote. And yes. These years do change us a lot. But we can always be redefined if we choose to be.
As rough as life is sometimes. I want to live through each moment. Because those friends come up beside me. And the bond that is formed. Well. I wouldn’t give that up for anything. It’s the STRUGGLE that defines us. The trials that make us stronger. The friendships that mold us into who we will always be.
I couldn’t ever trade yesterday.