Friends – worth the pain?

I always like being fairly descriptive with my titles about what I will be writing about.

Today’s topic, that literally arrived in my mind a few moments ago: Friends — are they worth the pain that they can sometimes cause?

I’ve seen some of my own friends say things that tells me they don’t think they really are. To some, you are only a friend if you make them feel good, you never argue, never complain, and just party out with them.

Some people are like that because they don’t want to get hurt; they just want to be loved, and not feel the pain of a broken heart and scared emotions.

Can friendship hurt bad? Oh yeah. You better believe it.

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

Normally I’d give you the reference to a verse I quote, but if you really care, I want YOU to look it up. I will tell you that it is in Proverbs.

Faithful are the wounds… A true friend will, at some point, hurt you. Its inevitable. It will happen. Why would they hurt you? Tear you up inside? Because a friend, a true friend, loves you so much, that they can’t let something slide. If it really matters, they’d rather hurt you themselves and cause a gap between you, than see you go down a path that will hurt you more than they ever could.

The kisses of an enemy… Many of us have been here. That nice new kid, or whoever it is. They’re awesome, fun to be around, and make you feel great about yourself. You confide one secret, or even many in them; I mean, why not? They are the most awesome friend you have ever had! Then… they hurt you so bad by proving themselves to not have ever cared.

So, is a friend worth the pain? I’ve been hurt several times by friends. Sometimes, they don’t even mean it, but sometimes, several of which I can remember very well, it was done on purpose. Am I still friends with them? Yes. It hurt. Oh how it hurt. Oh I thought I hated them. And then it clicked. Oh my word… I was about to do that? How did I not see? Without my friend doing what they did… Who knows what might have happened?

I think that, if you hang on, if it is true friendship, that when you pull through the hurt, you’ll be closer with that person than ever before.


But… what if that verse does not apply? What if they simply hurt you. They didn’t do it for a reason. But they aren’t your enemy. They ARE your friend. But they hurt you.

That’s something that goes beyond my mind to grasp. But I’ve seen it happen. And it stuns me every time. But then, sometimes, you have to hurt someone; make a choice between two people asking you over at the exact same time — one of them will be hurt. That’s a simple analogy, but it works. I don’t know if I actually have enough life experience or not to be saying what I am here, but… I decided to say it anyway.


People. Friends will cause you pain and hurt. You may wonder if it’s worth it all. But…

As a Christian, for me, everything points to Christ. It is beyond the comprehension of most, if not all, to imagine the suffering he went through; the scourging, the cross. But he did it with the love that only very few people would do for family or friends, and He did it for his enemies.

If you live with that same love, pull the hurt, then yes, those friends are worth the pain.


God bless,